“Blue Monday”—New Order, from Power, Corruption, and Lies and SubstanceChristgau: PCL-B+; S-A, #6 Album of 1987
SARG: PCL-7; S-10, #66 Alternative Album
RS: PCL-#94 album of the ‘80s
When people talk of New Order, they mention things like “rising from the ashes of Joy Division” after Ian Curtis committed suicide, they go on about dark, romantic, depressive British disco, maybe someone brings up “Bizarre Love Triangle,” which we’ll get to in 1986, but you never hear anyone talk about the New Order sense of humour. Of course, this is mostly the band’s doing; they named their record Power, Corruption, and Lies, for heaven’s sake, after (I think) a George Orwell book blurb, and probably any more overt funny stuff would’ve ruined the effect: i.e., finding strange, disturbing gallows humour where you least expect it, like in this song.
“Blue Monday” is as funny and well-timed as a prime Spike Jones number, so over-the-top sinister, with such perfect fake percussion breaks (including an explosion!), it dares you to take it seriously and run out of the room. When you put a song first on a compilation, it takes on a sort of anthemic significance (“one of the most sacredly important dance songs of all time,” says the Amazon review), which is unfortunate because “Blue Monday” is best heard in its album context, after a slowly escalating side that starts off human (the guitar-rocky “Age of Consent,” see below) before ceding to the machines. Faster than the preceding “5-8-6,” so it feels like we’re almost spinning out of control, with the disembodied evil of Bernard Sumner’s voice demanding over and over, “How do I feel?”, it’s easy to see how this track would go over well in some s&m leather club. But since these were the same guys proclaiming “Our love is like the flowers” a few songs earlier, any scariness is purely for show; what’s more, you get the feeling these guys are smart enough to be parodying the whole “death-disco” genre they themselves are pioneering. Impressively prescient, and evidence that New Order saw as deeply into their chosen genre as anyone working the pop music field.
“Photograph”—Def Leppard, from Pyromania and VaultChristgau: P-C; V-bomb
Eddy: P-#51 Heavy Metal Album
RS: P-#62 Album of the ‘80s
“Authority Song”—John Cougar Mellencamp, from Uh-HuhChristgau: B
Eddy: one of the Top 15 Albums of 1983
RS: #32 Album of the ‘80s
“Whenever You’re On My Mind”/ “Our Town”—Marshall Crenshaw, from Field DayChristgau: A+, #2 Album of 1983
SARG: 8
“Can’t Slow Down”/ “All Night Long (All Night)”—Lionel Richie, from Can’t Slow DownBillboard: ANL-#5 Song of 1983
Christgau: B+
Eddy: one of the Top 15 Albums of 1983
Grammy: Album of the Year, Producer of the Year (Richie and James Anthony Carmichael)
1984; “ANL” nominated for Record and Song of the Year, Best Pop Vocal
Performance, Producer of the Year (same guys) 1983; album nominated for Best Engineered Recording 1984
“Every Breath You Take”—Police, from Synchronicity and Every Breath You TakeBillboard: #1 Song of 1983
Christgau: S-B+; EBYT-A-, #58 Album of 1986
Grammy: S-Best Rock Performance, nominated for Album of the Year 1983; song won New
Song of the Year and Best Pop Performance, nominated for Record of the Year
RS: S-#17 Album of the ‘80s
SARG: S-6; EBYT-9
“It’s Gonna Get Better”—Genesis, from GenesisGrammy: album nominated for Best Rock Performance
“Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)”—Journey, from Frontiers and Greatest HitsBillboard: #28 Song of 1983
Christgau: F-D+
Eddy: GH-one of the Top 15 Albums of 1988
“I Want a New Drug”—Huey Lewis and the News, from SportsBillboard: #58 Song of 1984
Christgau: B+
Eddy: one of the Top 15 Albums of 1983
“Another One Rides the Bus”—Weird Al Yankovic, from Weird Al YankovicIn the tradition of Spike Jones (and New Order?), a comedy piece that proves timing conquers all, even instrumental limitations. As his budgets increased, Al would be able to convincingly imitate his targets’ arrangements, but for this song he had his accordion, some deep-voiced backup singer, and not much else, so it’s fortunate that said backup singer’s “Yeah”s are dead-on hilarious. Accordion’s pretty sharp too, the foot stomps help, and Al’s take on Freddie Mercury’s “Hey-yeah-yeaah-ye-ah-ye-ah-ye-ah-ye-ah” is classic. A parody that improves on its source? Sure.
“Gone Daddy Gone”—Violent Femmes, from Violent FemmesChristgau: B+
SARG: 10, #62 Alternative Album
“Jukebox”—Flirts, from The Best of the Flirts“Jokerman”—Bob Dylan, from Infidels and The Essential Bob DylanChristgau: I-B-
“When You Were Mine”—Cyndi Lauper, from She’s So UnusualChristgau: A, #10 Album of 1983
Eddy: one of the Top 15 Albums of 1983
Grammy: Best New Artist 1984; nominated for Album of the Year 1984
RS: #75 Album of the ‘80s
SARG: 9
“Three Agnus Dei Motets” (Per Norgard)—Vocal Group Ars Nova (Tamas Veto), from Singe de Garten (Works for Choir)“I Saw You”—Styrenes, from It’s Still ArtasticEddy: #4 Album of 2002
“Age Of Consent”—New Order, from Power, Corruption, and Lies“Modern Love”—David Bowie, from Let’s Dance and ChangesbowieChristgau: LD-B
RS: LD-#83 Album of the ‘80s
SARG: LD-6; C-10
“Stop Draggin’ My Car Around”—Weird Al Yankovic again
